Xam and the Awful Waffle

Early that morning Xam rose from his lair,
His eyes still half closed, a big mess in his hair,
His nose picked up a scent hanging in the air,
And he stumbled down the stairs and slipped into his chair.

His nose all a twitch, his mouth turned to a frown,
For this thing on his plate, he could not find a noun,
A waffle, so awful, so lumpy and brown,
He struggled and fretted - how will I get this down!

He screwed up his courage, he mustered his might,
If he could turn off his tastebuds, this would be an easy fight!
Then into his mouth, he put a piece of this blight,
And as he chewed and he swallowed, he realized it was alright!

That waffle was not so awful after all...

Sue and the Bamboo - A limerick

Thanks to all our fans for the great response to our haiku "Snunkie and the Bamboo" (see far below)! In response to your "requests," here's another one...

Sue and the Bamboo - a limerick

There once was a ladybug named Sue,
Who lived on the H-Family bamboo.
She was trapped on a stalk,
And wrote "I'M BORED" in chalk,
And each day her boredom, it grew.

She sat there day after day.
And each time she tried to fly away,
One of the crew,
Would find where she flew,
And return her to that damn bamboo.

She sat there on that plant of death,
Feeling her life fade with each breath.
Her wings would soon fail,
She felt like she was in jail!
Soon she'll be dead in the gravel with the snail.

The End.

Dr. Doomy-Doom strikes again!

Last spring, Sirk was cleaning windows and put her finger through the sill and drywall of one of the bedroom windows. After conducting a thorough investigation and ruling out Sirk's super-human strength, we determined that we had been victims of Dr. Doomy-Doom's dasterdly window rotting machine. So, Mr. Fix-It (aka Trebron) set to the task of replacing all 18 windows in the house. He decided to start with the most rotten window - which was also the highest. 

He was well-prepared on the day he began his new adventure. He had conducted copious research, purchased the windows, watched numerous online instructional videos, and gathered, purchased, and rented all the necessary tools. Unfortunately, there was one situation he could not possibly have prepared himself for - the evil, corruptive nature of Dr. Doomy-Doom himself! 

On that day, Trebron was up on the scaffolding working away when Dr. Doomy-Doom launched his Stinker-Pigger 1000 at him. It zoomed past, dangerouly close to the scaffolding nearly sending Trebron plunging to his death (or at least to a nasty headache). In its wake, the Stinker-Pigger 1000 left a noxious cloud of stink-gas that surrounded the entire 2nd floor of the house. The gas must have been chemically-constructed to cling to the house as the smell did not dissipate - thus preventing Trebron from continuing the job.

A big thanks to Nosilla and Mij for their dramatic recreation of the event as we unfortunately were not able to capture it on film.




After several frustrating days of trying to work around the stink, we decided to hire someone to finish replacing the windows on the 2nd floor. The smell wasn't too bad at ground level, so Trebron decided he could do the 1st floor himself.

So, we set to the task of hiring a window installer who had no sense of smell. This proved to be more difficult that we anticipated due to the restrictions imposed by the American with Disabilities Act which prevented us from asking anyone directly about his disabilities. Then, one day a window installer named Mot showed up at the house wearing so much cologne our eyes were watering and we were struggling to breath. After he left and we had recovered enough to speak, we said, "He's our MAN!"

In the end, all's well that ends well. Within a few months, our new windows were installed without further incident. With the tragedy now behind us, we look back on the event with fond memories. They say you tend not to remember intense pain and this also seem true of bad smells.

Teaching science in school a good thing?

I'm all for emphasizing the teaching of science in our schools to help build a nation of competitive people, but sometimes, things can go too far. A recent event has made me wonder just what they are teaching my kids!

Xam recently completed a science unit at school on genetic engineering. A few weeks later, I noticed a disturbing trend - bumps.  Bumps on everything.

The pumpkins growing in our garden suddenly had bumps...   

There's a weird bump growing on Rekoop's head...

When I dug up my Russian Banana potatoes, they looked more like mutated, atomic structures...

And now, there's a bump on the bottom of Xam's foot. 

 

Hmmm.....

Weather causes Primal Screams?

Recently, our neighbor has developed a weird habit of letting loose violent, mapcapped primal screams early in the morning. It doesn't happen every morning - just on seemingly random occasions. But, now we think we see the connection!

We were recently on Intellicast.com checking the weather when we stumbled upon the Bad Hair Day Map: http://www.intellicast.com/Health/BadHairDay.aspx   
We were so enamored with this map, we started checking it every day. It was shortly after this that we noticed a strange connection that caused us to pose a scientific question: "Was our neighbor more likely to let loose a primal scream on days of higher frizz factor?"

We did some research. Here are the results:

Coincidence -- We think not!

Need ideas for removing blueberry stains from concrete

Last July we got 10lbs of blueberries from a farm in Michigan. The boys had just seen the film 'Despicable Me', and they thought it would be fun to have some minions of their own. So they took the blueberries and started doing some experiments with them.

The blueberries weren't organic (and were possibly genetically modified as well), and the experiment went badly. The result was 10 lbs of very mad, very vicious, cannibalistic blue fruit!!! (They ate our camera, so Kire drew a picture of them.) 

We didn't know how to kill them, so we locked them in the basement until they ate each other. 

Unfortunately, now we have some very messy blueberry stains all over the basement concrete. So, if you have any ideas for removing the stains, send them our way!  

ALERT - Dr. Doomy-Doom has new, evil, 'Chase-Yourself-Mirror'

This entry should serve as a warning to everyone about a new evil machine that Dr. Doomy-Doom is experimenting with. It is designed to keep you busy so you won't thwart Dr. DD's evil plans. 

Last week, we received a shipment of boxes. It included a note saying it was a raffle prize we had won.

There was a box addressed to each family member, including ones for each fish in our fish tank. Inside each box was a mirror. When each of us looked into the mirror, it started to run away, and we were compelled to chase ourselves.

We were all taken in by the scheme except Xam - who ended up saving the day. Even though the mirror was right in front of him, he couldn't find it! 

Trebron's Great Idea

Earlier this summer Trebron was outside working on the house in the hot sun. After several hours, he came in and said, "Man, I wish I had a big crane. Then I'd take this huge piece of corrugated roofing, and I'd hoist it up overhead to block out the sun." I said, "That has got to be the stupidest idea I've ever heard!"

Oh wait, here's my Dad working on his house. Umm... Is that his crane holding up a piece of corrugated roofing to block the sun? Hmmm.... 

Need advice - Trouble with Xam

We are having some trouble with Xam. If you have any advice, please send it our way. He keeps "marking his territory" in public places. No matter what we do, we can't get him to stop. It's very embarrassing...

Snunkie and the Bamboo - a Haiku

Today, Trebron and Sirk decided to write a children's story. Let us know what you think!

Snunkie and the Bamboo

This is Snunkie Snail.

He lives on a bamboo plant.

In the living room.

Snunkie writes a poem.

The poem's a Haiku in slime.

On the bamboo stalk.

"I am very bored.

There is nothing to do here.

Set me free, you scum!!!"

The End.

P.S.  Snunkie died of boredom about 3 weeks later...